Fans of Orange Is the New Black are wondering if they can make it until the Season 2 premiere date of June 6th. Netflix is keeping the anticipation alive by teasing audiences with a few shots from the new season. Three little official photos are pretty slim pickings for an audience whose appetite can now house an entire season of a show during a marathon viewing weekend. But what are fans to do but obsess over the details in these pics? Deborah Goldstein and Vikki Reich lead us in the task.
Pic 1: Mock Job Fair
(L-R) Danielle Brooks, Lin Tucci, Natasha Lyonne, Yael Stone, Jackie Cruz, Emma Myles and Laverne Cox in a scene from Netflix’s “Orange is the New Black” Season 2. Photo credit: Jessica Miglio for Netflix.
What have they done to Taystee? So wrong. I vote her Most Likely to Work the Information Desk at a Suburban Mall
. Nichols looks like she's been cast in the lesbian remake of Stayin' Alive
while Morello looks like she's about to sing On the Good Ship Lollipop
. As for Leanne, I've never felt much sympathy for her…until I saw her in the mess of a suit from the 80s. And Sophia…I love Sophia and that dress definitely shows off her ass
ett but what kind of job is she going for?
Deborah: Taystee doesn't look very happy in her bank teller uniform, but I vote her Most Able to Pass as a Law Abiding Citizen in that outfit. As for Lorna, I got an Andrew Sisters Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy vibe which does not translate to an upwardly mobile career unless she wants to be a carhop at a drive-in restaurant. I had the same reaction to poor Leanne in that whatever-the-hell-color horror show of an outfit. Those shoulder pads extend so wide that she looks like she suffers from microcephaly, a neurodevelopmental disease I discovered when I searched for shrunken head disorder. Not so worried about Sophia who will surely find her way to stardom. She might want to consider hiring Nicky as her agent who looks like she would punch you in the throat if you crossed her. Pantsuits can do that to a gal.
NEXT: Piper, Bloody Piper
Pic 2: Bloody Piper
Taylor Schilling in a scene from Netflix’s “Orange is the New Black” Season 2. Photo credit: JoJo Whilden for Netflix.
Vikki: Caption This: Oh my god! This nose bleed is epic! The winter weather is really taking a toll.
Deborah: Ha! Either that or she went all Jennifer Lawrence in Cold Mountain and decided to rip apart a squirrel for a late night snack. Those vending machines are always on the fritz in prison.
NEXT: Red v. Vee
Pic 3: Red vs. Vee
Kate Mulgrew (L) and Lorraine Toussaint (R) in a scene from Netflix’s “Orange is the New Black” Season 2. Photo credit: JoJo Whilden for Netflix.
How did Lena's mom from The Fosters
end up in prison?! My money is on Vee - Red couldn't even catch a chicken.
Deborah: I bet Stef had something to with the arrest of Lena's mom. She had it coming. Wait, that's a different prison show. Sure it looks like an altercation is about to ensue, but I couldn't help singing Waterloo. Something about the matching hair made me think choreographed dance number over bitch slap.
NEXT: Taystee Poussey!
Bonus Pic 4 From Instagram: Poussey and Taystee
Vikki: Taystee Poussey. BWAH HA HA! I've never put their names together in that order without a conjunction before and, well, that's some funny stuff right there. All I could think of when I saw this was "Accent a droite, bitch!" and "Don't be fuckin' with Harry Potter!" and then I laughed and laughed because almost a year later, still funny.
Deborah: I bow down to your Taystee Poussey. I mean... I never put their names together either, and I applaud you for doing so. I don't care what they're doing in this shot. I'm just glad they're together again.
NEXT: What about Alex?
That's It. Seriously. That's It. Only Four Photos.
Vikki: Not pictured in ANY of these pictures which disturbs me greatly: My girlfriend, Alex Vause, for whom I would run drugs any day.
Deborah: Maybe Alex was responsible for dressing everyone for the job fair. She strikes me as the type who would take pleasure in this kind of wardrobe torture.
Netflix also released this tiny teaser video. Sixteen seconds. That's it. Do you see any clues in these pics about the new season? How many times do you think you'll re-watch Season 1 before June 6th?