Dancing With the Stars Week 4: Half Pint Hits Her Head, Gene Simmons' Tongue, and Little Richard Stops By
Apparently you can’t miss one episode without someone getting a concussion or breaking a foot. And I thought there wasn’t enough material to sustain a season of snark – ha! Forgive me, dear readers. I’m back.
Week 4 was Rock Week, brought to you by KISS - because nothing says “ballroom is sexy” like five sexagenarians in face paint. Nice going, ABC. I’m pretty sure you’ve alienated your core demographic with that one.
Gene Simmons opened the evening’s festivities with the statement, “We’re going to kiss somebody goodbye” before inviting viewers to “Lick it Up.” Get it? Kiss? Cuz they’re KISS? Oh, nevermind. Way to set the tone, Gene.
Number of times Gene Simmons stuck his freakishly long tongue out: 3 (Only three? That seems awfully low. But, yes, I only counted three.)
Another observation: I like Paul Stanley better when he’s painting, not mugging for the camera.
The ABC Pimp Machine was in full effect on tonight’s results show, what with Tom Bergeron promoting KISS’ upcoming summer tour, the new “Dancing With the Stars” Las Vegas show at the Tropicana featuring a slew of former Disney Kids, and James Van Der Beek waving to the camera in hopes of snagging a few viewers for his new show premiering this week, “Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23.” And, of course, Twitter Nation had to weigh in. LittleGirl89 tweeted, “OMG!!! This elimination is crazy!!! Its [sic] not normal to feel this nervous”. You’re right, LittleGirl89 – it’s NOT normal to feel this nervous. Because it’s a television show, not an execution. Move on.
On to Half Pint’s concussion, which is what I know you all came here for. I could’ve sworn her bun cushioned her fall last night, but evidently that wasn’t the case...
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