Yesterday, Casey Anthony’s mom, Cindy, dropped a bombshell on the Caylee Anthony murder trial. She said -- under oath -- that she was the one who searched for chloroform on the family computer. The prosecution has always used this as their form a smoking gun to prove intent on Casey's part. What now?
Beyond the case itself, the whole bombshell caused me to think about my own family, my own children, my hypothetical future grandchildren and what I would and would not do for my sons.
I love my kids. Unconditionally. While I have tried to curb my helicoptering, I can say that I’d do almost anything to protect my children. I can say without a doubt that I’d give my life for my children. But...
I don’t think I could lie if my child had hurt my grandchild.
I’m not a grandma yet. I won’t pretend to know how I’ll feel about my grandchildren. However, I have watched how being a grandmother has changed my mom and my mother-in-law. In good ways, mind you. I see the love that they have for their grandchildren. I have witnessed the fact that their fierce Mama Bear attitude still exists when one of the boys has been injured or picked on by another child. I know, without a doubt, that they would protect or give their lives for their grandsons. It's the same love that my mom has for me and my mother-in-law has for my husband. They love us. They still try to protect us. They would give their lives for us.
With that said, I know that if I did something unforgivable to one of those boys, neither grandma would be interested in protecting me. My mom loves me. A lot. We’ve been through lots of, well, crap. But she loves me, as does my dad. The love I see they have for their grandchildren, however, is magnified.
I don’t think I believe in lying for your children... but, as Beyond the Attractions wrote awhile ago, I suppose I should follow the “never say never” rule of thought. Do I want to lie for my kid to his teacher if he doesn’t do his homework? Some big grand excuse that we had a family emergency and it was unavoidable? No. I believe that teaches kids that parents will always bail them out. And while I’ll always love my kids, I won’t always bail them out. Tough lessons need to be learned sometimes, and it’s my job as a parent to make sure they’re learning those lessons... even the hard way at times.
But... but... if my child was facing jail time for something I wasn’t 100% sure that he did? Would I fudge the truth to place that shred of doubt in the juror’s minds? Would I go so far as to step up and take the fall so my child didn’t have to... just in case my child really was innocent? I can honestly say that I don’t have the answer. So much of parenting is exactly that: not knowing the answer but going about the process of parenting anyway. Whether Cindy Anthony really did search for “chloroform” or “chlorophyll” doesn’t really matter anymore. What matters is that she said she did. Will it save her daughter? That remains to be seen.
So what’s the line for you? When do you protect your child? Where do you draw the line? Is it okay to lie for our children … ever? I don’t know all of the answers and figure that there are all kinds of gray within the issue. But I do maintain that if someone ever hurts my grandchildren, they’re going to have to deal with a raging Grandma Bear.
For more on the Casey Anthony trial here on BlogHer, check out these posts:
- The Casey Anthony Trial Begins by Susan Cody.
- Death by Mom: The Age of Filicide by productjunkiemama.
UPDATED 7/5/11: Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murder. Do you think her mom's testimony had a hand in that verdict?
Photo Credit: © Chris Livingston/ZUMA Press.
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