Breaking Dawn Review of Headlamp that Doesn't Suck: Energizer Ultimate Lithium Headlight, Blue/Silver Design
I've always been crazy. Ask anyone that's known me for any length of time and they'll be happy to tell you how crazy sick I am... only they may not say it in a nice way.
I admit it. Crazy is my middle name. Ask my mother. She filled out my birth certificate, "Stephanie Crazy-Sick-Expert-In-Her-Own-Mind". It was hell in kindergarten.
Although it has taken me years of learning, growing and hundreds of group hugs in America's finest mental health facilities with people who think God sends them messages in boxes of Lemon Jell-O, I am finally getting close to the point of actually being able to look at myself in the mirror with my geeky headlamp on and not stick my tongue out.
That's just good mental health is what that is.
Mentally stable though I am, on occasion I find myself right smack dab in the middle of Crazy Town. Up is down, wrong is right and the clear black and white lines in my life blur considerably. This morning before dawn, I wasn't just a citizen of Crazy Town. I was the freaking mayor and I was running this town up and down and all around with my new Energizer Ultimate Lithium Headlight.
Despite its geeked out appeal and entry level price tag, it is a head lamp created especially for outdoor enthusiasts and pasty faced people who run in the dark. As crazy as it may seem for this obsessive compulsive buyer and trendy tester of new running gear, this is, probably, the last head lamp I'll ever buy.
I say this because the Energizer Ultimate Lithium Headlight is compact, lightweight and near waterproof. This reliable head-mounted light boasts everything necessary for a vampirific runner in the darkest hours...
And yes, here comes the crazy-- with this contraption strapped to my noggin, I do believe I'M A VAMPIRE.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
LED headlamps are bright aren't they? Doesn't that kill vampires?
Yeah, I would have thought so too. But this headlamp has much more common with the headlights on an Audi S7 than it does with Sarah Michelle Gellar. I know this because of rigorous vampirific testing of this product. Also because of my OCD, I've checked its lack of vampire killing ability on countless occasions like just this morning.
I got out of bed at 3:45am, placed it over my head and ran to the mirror to check 'cause everyone knows vampires have no reflection so they can't see their own faces.
Crap. There I was looking back at me all tired and what not with my hair sticking up in such a manner that I wondered when the cat had groomed me. And then I remembered we don't have a cat and thought maybe it was a cat burglar instead.
He could have crept in with his black leggings and jaunty black burglar cap, stole all my jewels and Butterfinger fun sized bars and before he left, licked my head. Happens all the time.
But then I started doubting myself as to whether it's their reflection vampires can't see. What if it's their shadows? That sounds right.
It sounds right at 3:45 in the morning anyway.
So I looked around for my shadow and guess what? Not there. Totally no shadow.
In all actuality, this could be because this urban-inspired headlamp opens up the dark and does away with shadows for those whose running isn’t restricted to daytime hours. This long lasting battery operated streets-to-trails runner’s headlamp features excellent fore-aft balance and a super low profile (once the top and round-the-head straps are customized), which minimizes bouncing and shifting with your stride. A rear flashing strobe offers safety around cars while a strong, spotlight beam keeps your vision focused on the path ahead allowing one to proceed with vampire activities in the darkest of hours. Other specs that shine on this headlamp are the serial switch that activates five light modes: 4 white (high, medium, low, and strobe) and red for vampire-like night vision. The focusing mechanism also regulates the beam from tight spot to floodlight. Oh, and it also runs for up to 11 hours on high using the 3 lithium AA batteries included.
Although I thoroughly enjoy seeing everything at night as plain as day yet, having lost my shadow in the headlamp spotlight had me wondering what else about me was qualitatively vampire.
Well, I like long nails.
Sadly they aren't long right now because of a nail biting frenzy about a week ago during an especially hairy episode of Orange is the New Black, but usually they are.
Therefore I confirmed that I am in fact a vampire now with my new night vision. So I began to wonder when it happened. I would think being bitten by a crazy sexy man in the middle of the night when I was wearing a long flowing white gown and had my windows open would be memorable.
I was sure it couldn't have been recently as my favorite sleeping attire of late is yoga shorts and a pit-stained tech shirt that says I'm on the Unicorn Running Team.
When running, run like a magical unicorn. Wear this ridiculous, yet awesome shirt while you run around like a majestic beast.
Vampires do not bite chicks dressed like that.
Especially when a cat burglar just licked their head.
So what then? Could I have gotten a vampire bug in the run park public restroom?
Um, no. This OCD mother runner carries an assorted multitude of germ killing things with her at all times and since hand sanitizer kills everything, it's reasonable to assume that includes vampire cooties.
So I haven't quite figured out the origin of my being a vampire who also enjoys a good headlamp and 4am run but I'm not sure what to do next with my bad vampire self. I guess I should probably think of a new name because everyone knows there are no vampires named Stephanie Renee. Or Kimberley. Or Elizabeth.
I should also get out and start meeting some of my own kind at a running club meet up or something. I know exactly what I'm looking for in an eternal vampire running partner slash geeked out friend wearing a 5 light mode headlamp.
So if you're looking for a valuable low cost headlamp for an upcoming 100 miler or before dawn jaunt through the park, make sure to avoid any potential disappointment in this Energizer Ultimate Lithium Headlight, Blue/Silver design (3AA Max Batteries Included) being sold out. Make your online purchase while they're still available so you too can become a vampire.
That’s right. An honest to goodness, vampire.
You too, can run at 4am with a pale white face, long dark hair nearly to your waist and fingernails waiting to grow out long and silver. Slip this headlamp over your widow's peak and dress all in black clothing and wear nearly a floor length black raincoat while you test the water resistance of this gadget. You'll look very vampire casual. It'll also help if when you smile, your mouth looks as if you may have just had a quick hit of O negative in a parking lot.
Your other vampirific running buddies will be strangely enthralled.
So in summary, here are some initial impressions:
It's small and lightweight with a very nice design and not too bad for a compact unit.
The head lamp weight is distributed to the front and back.
The circular shape of the beam? In my opinion, this matches to the path better than an oval or rectangular beam on other brands.
The head is not too small either so if I want to change the mode or switch the lamp on or off, there will be no trouble pressing in one attempt or with cold gear gloves.
The cable interconnecting the battery compartment and the head has also been woven well into the strap to avoid flinging and eliminating the chance for catching something if I got carried away into some bushes. By Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of course.
This headlamp would prevent such an occurrence, however as it enables good illumination of the first 10-15 meters of the path, which is adequate when running on a well-known route which is also kept top secret from the Buff.
I'm also wearing Darko Sunscreen SPF 5000 here, the sun block preferred by 9 out of 10 vampires.
By the way, I usually wear this headlamp with my hair slicked back and pulled into a pony tail. On my little finger, I wear a silver “ring” for lack of a better word, which has a long pointy thing that I’m guessing, as a vampire, I'm supposed to use for either helping to open a vein or getting pickles out of a jar. In addition to this headlamp purchase, I'm considering buying a black trekking pole that has a skull on top.
Because all the cool vampires are running with those too.
This well-lit running vampire stuff sounds crazy, huh?
Well here’s what's even crazier. Remember those old black and white vampire flicks where a perfectly normal looking red-blooded woman would beg the evil vampire to bite her so she could live forever in the netherworld with him?
I totally get that now that I'm wearing this headlamp before dawn.
No matter where I go in the darkest hours of early morn, people stare. While some people are doing their best to get as far away from this pasty faced girl with a bright light as they can, others are figuring out ways to run near me. When I eventually get asked whether someone can hold my trekking pole with skull head, I think I may make them beg, “Please, Mistress Crazy-Expert-In-Her-Own-Mind”.
So there you have it, the Energizer Headlamp aka Official Headlamp of the Vampirific 4am Ultra Mother Runner. Let's see...
Light is so big and bright I lose my shadow.
Ordering online is easy and the $34 average cost is cheap enough to woo someone who is a crazy expert in her own mind like me.
This is the vampire's favorite headlamp. It has to be because it's the single best headlamp for your bucks in the entire dark world. It is. I swear. Agree with me or I'll bite you. I mean it.
Think I'm gonna need braces.
But I crazy LOVE it.
Changing my profile pic to this one and referring to self as Mistress of the Night.
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