Brandon Smith is an Asshat

3 years ago

The majority whip of the Kentucky legislature, a Republican by the name of Brandon Smith, recently opened his yakhole and claimed that it is the same temperature on Earth as it is on Mars.

He actually said, in a snide mansplaining voice no less, that:

“As you (Energy & Environment Cabinet official) sit there in your chair with your data, we sit up here in ours with our data and our constituents and stuff behind us. I don’t want to get into the debate about climate change, but I will simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There are no factories on Mars that I’m aware of.”

I shit thee not.

First, let me just point out the little factoid that the average temp on Mars is −55 °C (218 K; −67 °F). That’s colder than North Dakota, that’s how cold that is. The average temperature of Earth according to NASA figures is 15°C  or 16 C (59F-61F). Someone explain to Brandon Smith that the negative sign MEANS something when dealing with numbers.

You may need to start by explaining about negative numbers, or the numbers he cannot count on his toes.

Secondly, Brandon Smith has a Bachelor of Arts in political science (which isn’t a sciency kind of science or he would have a Bachelor of Science) from my alma mater, the University of Kentucky. He got that BA in 1991 (We were at college together! Neato!) and as far as my research can tell has not set his lily-white tail in an university every since. What is the “we” he speaks of in “academia”? 

Sure, he clearly has a PhD in asshat from the University of Twatwaffle (motto: Nos Potest Convenire Rectums Caput [we can fit our heads up our own rectums]; team slogan:The Fighting Smelly Taints; mascot; Mitch McConnell) but that doesn’t make him a real academic.

Brandon Smith is, like me, from Eastern Kentucky. However, he is what my fellow hillbillies would call a “dipshit” and thus not someone you would trust to scratch his own ass.

Please, Brandon Smith, for the sake of the very tiny remains of Kentucky’s good name, never EVER try to talk about science again.

Need it be said that this Teabagging Yahoo is the owner of Mohawk Energy, LCC? The interesting thing about this money laundering operation … er, I meant company of course, is that it has a physical address in Lexington, KY but does not have a phone number or website

Hmmm … Mohawk Energy “is a Kentucky Klc – Kentucky Limited-Liability Company filed on December 22, 2005. The company’s filing status is listed as A – Active and its File Number is 0628225.
The Registered Agent on file for this company is Richard P. Johnson and is located at 535 Wellington Way Suite 380 Lexington, KY 40503. The company’s principal address is 535 Wellington Way Suite 380 Lexington, KY 40503.The company has 1 principal on record. The principal is Brandon Smith.”

I think he is much a CEO as he is an academic.

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