2012 Golden Globes Recap: Surprises, Upsets and Erections?

5 years ago

I will admit, nothing excites me more than a night on the couch with wine, sweatpants and cold left-over fried chicken, watching Hollywood glitz and glamor, and the Golden Globes are no exception.

Unlike the People's Choice Awards which mean nothing, the Golden Globes are the pre-cursor to the Oscars, and if you enjoy some healthy award show betting, this is the kind of frivolous crap you live for.

First, I simply must discuss Ricky Gervais. Aside from the fact that he is getting considerably slimmer by the second, and his red and black tuxedo made him look like an extra from the set of The Sopranos, Gervais was...not half bad.

I remember last year's trainwreck of a hosting performance, and I've seen Ghost Town and The Invention of Lying, so I can confidently say, Ricky Gervais is not awesome at doing American funny things.

But this year, he was a bit safer, which forced him to be a bit sharper with his wit, and for me it paid off.

In fact, one of my favorite Gervais moments of the night was when he bantered with co-star Johnny Depp about his horrific film, The Tourist (sidenote: Johnny Depp just speaks like Captain Jack Sparrow full time now? Are we all supposed to act normal about it?).

Second only to when, after going after Madonna's virginity, she invited him on stage to kiss her, stating she hadn't kissed a girl in a while, sending him sprinting across the backstage in fear. It was funny and improvised, and it's those moments of the more casual Globes that I adore.

Seth Rogen's erection anyone? Best part of the show.

On to the fashion. Sure, there were some standouts. Michelle William's adorable headband, Tena Fey's gorgeous wine colored gown, Zooey Deschanel's sideburns, and Meryl Streep's banana clip.

Also, whoever punk'ed Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman by telling them the evening was Bridesmaids themed, and to wear the most hideous past bridesmaid gown they were ever made to don, ever...high five. It was you Melissa McCarthy, wasn't it?

But, aside from all that excitement, the color of the night seemed to be...flesh? Katharine McPhee, Charlize Theron, Heidi Klum, Amy Poehler, Jessica Biel, Diane Lane, Julie Bowen, Kate Beckinsale, Kristen Wiig, Amanda Peet...what is going on here exactly? This is supposed to be fun and flashy, and instead, these women showed up looking like giant fingers.

And also, why were people orange? How is that still happening?

My fashion favorites for the night were Octavia Spencer in a lavender Tadashi Shoji, with ruching to die for. Emma Stone in a wine colored Lanvin, honestly, there is just nothing about this woman that doesn't sizzle. Mila Kunis in a black Dior gown, because, really, Jackie Burkhart who? And lastly, Chris Colfer, in a black tux with a skinny tie. His hair was amazing, I already emailed the photo to my husband, it will be his new look.

Honorable mention goes to Diana Argon. I am not entirely sure what she had going on there in that screaming red gown, but I think I liked it?

The night was full of wtf? moments for me, as almost none of my picks walked away with awards.

Laura Dern taking it for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy for Enlightened (is anyone actually watching that?) over Zooey Deschanel, Meryl Streep overtaking Viola Davis for Best Actress in a Motion Picture, and Homeland owning the night, taking home Best Drama Series (over Boardwalk Empire, really?) and star Claire Danes taking home Best Actress in a Drama.

I was shocked, but not disappointed, to see the night not overtaken by last year's favorites, like Modern Family, though they did walk away with a lone Best Comedy Series award at the end of the night.

An especially big high five to Peter Dinklage for his Game of Thrones Best Supporting Actor win, he's on my laminated list.

Click here for a complete list of winners.

The entire night has me deeply rethinking my Oscar predictions, especially as far as The Help and Ides of March are concerned.  (Mental note: See The Artist, it looks divine.)

(L-R) Producer Thomas Langmann, actors Missi Pyle, JEAN DUJARDIN, director Michel Hazanavicius, actors Berenice Bejo and Penelope Ann Miller (Credit Image: © Joe White/Globe Photos/ZUMAPRESS.com)

How did you fare in your Golden Globe predictions? Any upsets? Fashion falters? Moments to remember?


Brittany Gibbons

I say funny things.


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