Scartini and Poo-pouri: Five Beauty/Fashion Products You CAN Live Without

7 years ago

Every now and then, you come across a life-changing beauty product. One that brightens your day just a little bit , and adds a gleam to your eye. "How did I live without this wondrous item?" you ask yourself.

This is not one of those times.This is one of those times where I stare at my inbox in horror and wonder who the hell greenlights some of these things.

Well, perhaps I'm being too harsh. I mean, maybe I DO need to get:

1. Scartini! Vitamin E serum for scars? PSHAW.  Scartini is here, y'all, and it's "the perfect scar cocktail." I don't know about you, but  I'm not at ALL squicked out by the idea of a product of dubious origins (a contestant from The Apprentice was involved in its creation! Of course!). Nor does the name (SCARTINI. Oh my god.) call to mind some kind of unholy Appletini/gouged knee hybrid.

2. Poo~pouri! Why do the ol' Courtesy Flush when you can be the weirdo walking into the bathroom clutching a small bottle of... toilet potpourri drops?

3. Spray-On Clothes! I mean, I like SOME things that come in aerosol cans. Whipped cream, cheese (shhhhhhh!), Pam, I... suppose I could give ACTUAL GARMENTS a try, you know? I'm nothing if not open-minded!

4. Diet-Friendly Lip Gloss! Too Faced's FUZE Lip Gloss is made with a special combination of  ingredients which claim to help suppress your appetite. Well, then! That sounds like some airtight science FACTS, right there. Your days in the sun are OVER, rice cakes!

5. The Backtacular! - Yes, I've already covered this here, but really, it's never NOT a good time to mention that paragon of class and fashion grace, the Backtacular bejeweled "gluteal cleft shield." I believe Coco Chanel was a fan.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to make some very sensible and useful purchases.

What are the most useless fashion and beauty products you've come across?

Metalia also blogs here.

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