Disguising that telltale "Ack! Too much New Year's Champagne!" look in five easy steps

8 years ago

Ah, New Year's. When we come together to celebrate a new year full of hopes, dreams, and possibilities. It's a time for good friends, lively parties, and OH MY GOD DID I REALLY DRINK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE BY MYSELF LAST NIGHT AND THEN PERFORM A JOURNEY/DEF LEPPARD MEDLEY FOR THE INVITED GUESTS?? moments. For whatever reason, New Year's Eve seems to bring out the drinker in most of us, myself included. Fortunately, my champagne-hogging, 80's hair metal singing days are thankfully past (for the most part), but I remember all too clearly those mornings after, waking up feeling as if an anvil was sitting atop my head, and looking as if my hair and now-smudged makeup had been styled by either of the aforementioned rock bands. It's Hangover City, people.

The problem here, of course, (besides the crippling headache) is that when you FEEL hungover, you generally LOOK hungover, and that just ain't pretty. This is always what worked for me when I had to get out the door, but needed to disguise the fact that I looked and felt as though I had been run over by a trolley:


Not drinking it (though that's a good idea, too), but dunking your face in a bowl full of it. Not only will it wake you right up, but it will also revive your sallow, wan skin. I dunk my face a few times, and then move on to...

Step 2: Get Glowing! (AKA, I cannot believe I just typed that.)

Slather on the moisturizer of your choice, and follow with some glow-inducing lotion (glotion??) to perk up your face. Hungover skin needs all the help in can get, and a few products can go a long way towards making your face look positively radiant. I've alread covered the topic of subtle glow/shimmer in a prior post, but Boots No. 7 Radiant Glow Lotion (which I rave about there) is tailor-made for days when your skin needs to look alive, but is decidedly not performing to task on its own. Yves Saint Laurent's Touche Eclat is another great product to brighten things up; it's a sheerly-pigmented brush-tipped highlighter, and I use it under my eyes whenever they're carrying last night's baggage. (And for better or for worse, these days, the likely culprit is Cranky Teething Baby, not Long Island Ice Tea.) While your at it, apply a coat of mascara to really open your eyes, and you're ready for...

Step 3: Look alive!

Your face needs color, stat. But given your situation, do you really want to be dealing with powders and brushes? Then you need to, like, make sure things are blended properly, and that you didn't use an eyeshadow brush to apply your blush, and frankly, that's probably a bit beyond you right now. You need goof-proof. You need easy. A great budget-friendly (but still amazing!) option is Maybelline Dream Mousse blush. It truly does have a mousse-like texture, and blends seamlessly when applied with your fingers. I have it in the "Cloud Wine" shade, and find it long-wearing and totally unscrew-uppable (IT'S TOTALLY A WORD). I mean, I've applied it mirrorless, in a speeding elevator (DON'T JUDGE!) and found it perfectly applied once I reached my destination. And at about $7, you can't beat the price. After you've made your face look markedly less like that of a Thriller extra, it's time for...

Step 4: My God, YOUR HAIR!

More than likely, your hair is an unmitigated disaster. Obviously, shower if you can, but if you're pressed for time (or the mere thought of it seems like a hugely overwhelming undertaking in your current state), I say cut your losses and attempt a chic ponytail. Done right, you'll look polished and pulled together. Now, if your hair is anything like mine (i.e., fine, straight, and develops flyaways approximately twelve seconds after putting it up), you might--as I do--love Aveda's Self Control Styling Stick. It's in a speed stick deodorant-like tube that you roll up to appy. It smells amazing, and it subtly yet effectively holds my hair where it needs to be. It's perfect for helping you to achieve a sleek, classy ponytail that actually stays put. Now that your skin is awake and glowing, your face looks put together and your hair is chicly styled, you're ready for...

Step 5: Fried Egg and Cheese Sandwich!

Hey, you earned it, champ.

What are your tried-and-true tricks for getting rid of that telltale hungover look? 

Metalia also blogs at metalia.blogspot.com.

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