I'm about to share a shocking secret with you. It's a bit embarrassing and a hard thing to admit but here it is: I've never shopped at COSTCO. There, I said it. Take a second to process this information.
I've been to Costco three times in my life - Twice I tagged along with my sister and once with a friend who both had memberships, but I've never bought anything. I don't know of anyone else who does not have a Costco membership. I belong to a club with no other members and until yesterday afternoon, it was my hidden shame. What if someone found out? What if they outed me to all the other Costco-ites? I couldn't take it anymore so yesterday I finally walked into the store for the fourth time and I walked out holding my new plastic Costco membership card. I've heard all the stories about the magical land of Costco and I was excited to come back soon and check it all out! I took a picture and texted it to my sister, proudly announcing I had finally done it.
I was excited. I was happy. I was content. I was looking forward to buying toilet paper in bulk. I was about to have a showdown in the parking lot.
My youngest son was by my side as we exited the store and we headed to our car where my husband and my other son sat waiting for us. All of a sudden a lady in a black Lexus pulled out of her parking space, driving in reverse, and headed right towards my son and I.
She was coming fast and she wasn't slowing down at all. I shoved my son out of way and her car hit my outstretched left hand which was holding my cell phone. She had barely missed running over my kid and I.
I yelled and gave her window a smack with my phone. The smack on the window caused her to finally stop the car. I could feel the adrenaline building up inside me. I gave her my "are you kidding me?! what on earth is your problem" look and thought that would be the end of it. But Nooooooo.........
I had started walking away when I heard her yell out her window, "Sorry....Did I hit you?"
Now let me just say that I have been guilty of doing something stupid in my car. I've had close calls. I get it, so I wasn't going to do more than give her my best "evil eye" look.
I turned, walked over to her car, leaned down and said to her, "You almost hit my son and I, seriously, be more careful", to which her reply was, "Yeah, sorry about that, I never really look when I reverse."
I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I turned things up a notch - this time giving her my most powerful "You're an Idiot" face before I turned and walked away. I turned to my son, about to get in my car and said "What a MANIAC!" Again, I thought this would be the end of it. But Nooooooooo.....Out of no where, some bald MR.Clean looking guy in yells at me.
"Hey! Give her a break!" Had I heard correctly? I must have misunderstood so I said, "Excuse me?"
"You called her a Maniac! That's not necessary, chill out."
Was this guy serious? Now he was getting my You're an Idiot face. "Not that any of this is your business, but she almost hit my son and I and then she told me she never looks behind her when she drives in reverse!"
"Give her a break. You cant just call people names"
"Are you kidding me? I was much nicer to her than I could have been! I told my son she was a maniac, I didn't say it to her! If you had kids, and someone almost ran over them with a car, you'd think they were a maniac driver too."
"I do have kids and I wouldn't be upset."
I wondered....Was I in some sort of COSTCO twilight zone? I was now WAY more upset with this guy than Helen Keller over there driving her Lexus! I lost the plot a bit and yelled, "Then YOU are a MANIAC too!". I don't know if he said anything after that, I just got in the car.
I was mad. I was bugged by this idiot. I wanted to reverse over Mr.Clean myself. I was telling my husband to go back and find him because I had more to say to him! I was saying thinks like, "I hate Freaking Costco!" and "Is this the new hangout for mentally challenged people?. I was going to have to calm down and I did after my boys started saying "Hate the player mom, not the game".
I believe in us. Let's not break up.
I've seen the websites devoted to all the strange people you find shopping at Wal-Mart so It would be easier to expect this sort of incident there, but not the bulk buying giant Costco. Is Costco becoming the new Wal-Mart? Our relationship has begun on a bad note. Worst of all, when I told a few people about what had happened, all three of them said it sounded about right for a busy Saturday. Really? Please say it isn't so! Please, someone tell me getting toilet paper in bags the size of a small country is worth the possibility of getting run over and having to interact with crazy strangers.....
Is calling someone or using the word Maniac the new ultimate offense? Does Maniac mean something terrible in some other language? I probably shouldn't have even responded to Mr. Clean but my heart was still pounding from thinking how close I just came to watching my son being seriously injured. What would you have done or said?