If you are applying your foundation with a masonry trowel, we need to talk. Layers upon layers of foundation make you look pasty and fake. Foundation is meant to even out your natural skin tone, not cover it up. Guys dislike this because you are ruining all their white shirts with all that tinted spackle.
Tony M. of Boston, MA explains it this way, “Its texture is obnoxious and the stuff smells like a cross between unrefined petroleum jelly and my grandma. I remember my younger years, sorta, and the damage this stuff did to my Levi's 501 jean jacket... please! I needed a strong upholstery cleaner to get it off my sacred denim! Chicks just don't get it... makeup may make you look different but it’s not always pretty.”
Ladies, we know you love your lone ranger mask, but it’s gotta go. Sorry. Don’t kill the messenger. Boys want to look into your eyes, not be distracted by the glob of mascara in the corner of your eye that’s large enough to have its own solar system. Eyeliner should be used as close to the lash line as possible, to give your lashes definition. Unless you are a hair band from the '80s, eyeliner was never meant to be a stand-alone cosmetic.
We’re not quite done with over-the top lash and brow styles. Affixing obviously artificial lashes to your eyes makes you look, what’s the word? Oh yes. Ridiculous. Eyelashes should look like they surround your eye, not the body of a caterpillar.
While we could see why guys would get annoyed with the previously mentioned makeup habits, this is confusing. Don’t they want our lips to look like we just licked them? Evidently not. Although the consensus on this seems to be less about how it looks and more about how it feels and tastes. Men just don’t dig smooching someone who feels like they have Gorilla Glue on their lips.
Vince S. of Phoenix, AZ says, “I can’t stand habits that make me late.” And by that, he means your Gone With the Wind primp time. Vince isn’t alone. Guys can’t stand it when they pick you up for a date and you’re still busy with your facial “masterpiece.” In the first place, it’s rude and inconsiderate. It also makes you look high maintenance. But above all, you are forgetting what men are looking for in makeup over and over again -- a natural look. While you’re busy trying to duplicate the Kim Kardashian bruised-eye look, he’d be happy with just a freshened up version of you.
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