I'm not really going to find anything here. Do I really look that old though? Can the employees smell fear?
What if I just spent the equivalent to a monthly gym membership on a whole new fitness wardrobe? It will be so motivating and in the end, I am actually saving money.
... and a girls' night out dress and something to wear to that bachelorette party. I can get like five dresses for the price of one elsewhere. I’ll just be sure not to gain an ounce and I’m totally stocked on dresses for the entire year! They don’t call me fiscally responsible for nothing.
Must not use curtain to brace oneself while slithering into unrealistically skinny and low-rise cargo pants. The person next to me is absolutely hearing my grunting and struggling. I'm having vivid flashbacks of those Chinese finger trap things.
Well, well, well! Looks like someone is getting an entire new jewelry wardrobe. A new pair for every day of the week? Why not? Sure I'll get into ear cuffs. You're damn right I want a midi ring and a finger chain bracelet.
But this bag is not. The only person who really needs to know this information is me. Now to practice my nonchalant, “Oh gosh! I honestly don’t even remember where I got this old thing!” Laughs nervously.
Is this what the kids are doing? Do the kids party at Studio 54? Am I old as balls?
You know, I could see this being quite useful for nursing mothers. Just whip it out and do yo' thang girl.
How good could a $7 cream contour kit be, but how bad could it be either? I'm feeling risky and I'm willing to find out.
...but now they’re both uber trendy. Ahh, the times we live in. Wait, so, is pizza sexy now?
And oh yes, I am familiar with your return policy. To be honest, I'll be too embarrassed that I even bought half of this stuff to bring it back.
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