Articles in Jelly Mom:
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Fleeting youth, fleeting sanity
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| When the kids aren't present sometimes judgment falters and we parents do things that maybe we shouldn't. When I was ten years old I had a skateboard. My father found it in the... |
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Rules for visiting with little ones
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| I love visiting family, but I've done a lot of thinking and I now know why my little ones are like mice on speed once we arrive at our destination. |
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Teens train mom
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| My thirteen-year old daughters are leaving a legacy for the other kids. There are some unspoken rules that I've come to respect. |
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How to determine the future vocation of your children
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| Have you ever wondered what your children will grow up to be? Following is a list of possible vocations based on the behavior of children. |
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Laziness takes planning and effort
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| Deciphering what I scrawled on a Tupperware lid for a container I chucked in the freezer months ago is not one of my better skills. But I can always use it to my advantage. |
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Another day, another migraine
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| I know it's time to get up in the morning when I hear Miss I-haven't-pooped-in-three-days-and-need-to-poop-right-now is hollering and Mr.... |
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Reunion countdown
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| By the time this column is printed I will have already gone to my twentieth reunion, I will have survived the paralysis that will set in mere moments before we pull up to the... |
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The reunion finale
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| I did a bit of sleuthing (some call it stalking) the night before the reunion and looked up as many photos of old classmates as I could find online. And I learned that twenty... |
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Reunion blues, Part Two
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| Preparing to go to your high school reunion is like finding out you're going to die and suddenly you realize you haven't done everything you SHOULD HAVE done. |
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Reunion blues
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| Recently I went shopping for some special occasion outfits. I dressed up because I thought it might help salvage my dignity in case I didn't find anything flattering to buy. |
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Beware of moving vehicle - Parent on board!
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| Every parent knows that driving with kids in the car without ending up in a fender bender or a ditch is a miracle. While you focus on the road your concentration is constantly... |
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Dancing the parent polka
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| My son has some amazing latent talent. He has a solid future vocation as an evangelist, politician, psychotherapist or all three and he keeps me two-stepping as I try to parent... |
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Mom Lessons 101
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| Before I go to bed I like to reflect on the day and take inventory of my parenting with regard to what worked and what didn't. It's time to make mental notes and heed them the... |
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This mom is out of order
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| I'm going to make an ‘out of order' sign and hang it around my neck. After a day of screaming (not me, one of my kids) I don't have the wherewithal to deal with anybody else... |
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Toughing out toddler torture
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| Living with a toddler that talks non-stop is fun. No, seriously. |
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The unbearable un-coolness of being mom
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| My middle school-aged daughters recently talked me into going shopping. Our second stop was the music store. At first they stood there like lumps of clay, girding themselves for... |
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Homemaking hijinks
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| My house is decidedly a 'deconstruction zone' where
each child and pet tries to outdo the other in
wrecking the place. "Mom, I slid on the floor and
accidentally put my... |
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What's for dinner? Don't ask
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| When I'm on the ball, I'm in the kitchen at 3:30 PM
and I have a great dinner -- and dessert -- ready by the
time my husband gets home. But I'll admit that I'm a
seasoned... |
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The unfit mother
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| Day One. I awake to the doorbell. My toddler son has
not yet crawled into bed with me to snuggle as he
usually does, so I shuffled quietly down the hall to
answer the door. |
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One smart family
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| Kids often imitate their parents when they play.
You'll see little girls acting like little mommies and
little boys acting like their dad. Unfortunately,
you'll also see... |
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Do you hear what I hear?
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| It's time for our many pets to get their annual
check-up and shots. The best way to handle this is to
schedule an appointment each week with the vet and
bring them in two at... |
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Can I get an 'N', Vanna?
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| My three-year-old son likes to add the 'n' sound to
many of the words he uses. The other day he asked me
for a pair of 'soncks'. |
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The circles of hell
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| Dante had it all wrong. The circles of hell do not
correspond with sin. They correspond with the stages
of children and I know what the first three levels are
like from... |
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Where cheeseburgers come from
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| Recently, while on vacation, the kids and I spied a
little shop called Sin Sations. Fresh baked donuts immediately sprang to mind and I
drove over, but for the life of me I... |
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Parental superpowers
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| The horror of horrors for all parents is when their
children act like twerps in public. |
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