Sex and the City
Take it from the gals of Sex and the City: The Movie. As the ladies lunch and talk about their relationships, you can imagine how the conversation turns into an R-rated gabfest. Well, when it comes to ensuring your kid doesn't hear all the #%*&$!&* that goes down, we should take some pointers from the fab four: They decided to tactfully substitute the word “coloring” for “sex.”
Here are other pointers to keep your game on as you raise a clean mouthed kid.
First things firsts: censor yourself
Tracye A Polson, MSW, LCSWC, executive director of the Reginald S Lourie Center for Infants and Young Children, an organization that affiliated with Adventist HealthCare explains, “Most children experiment with words such as these that create a specific reaction in adults (usually the parent). So, the key is to model the use of language each family wants used in their home, and to explain in a matter of fact manner that those aren't words we use in our family.”As for some pointers? You can try darn, dang, gosh, fudge, shoot, shucks and rats. While they don’t exactly have the same oomph as other words, they still manage to do the trick in the heat of a moment.
Play it down
According to Polson, it’s important to mute your reaction when your kid uses a bad word. Rather than freak and call negative attention to it when you hear your little one swear, confront it, but play it down. “Most children will give up when this is ignored,” she says. It's important not to reinforce the use of this language by reacting strongly and getting into a power struggle. “I also find it helpful to wonder about the purpose these words are serving; it is a way of expressing some other feelings/worries/thoughts?”Curtail it when they’re young
“It maybe cursing now,” says Beth Feldman, co-author of Peeing in Peace: Tales and Tips for Type A Moms and founder of RoleMommy.com, “but it can lead to insulting and bullying later.” Since experimenting with swear words can start early, she recommends not making your kids feel ashamed but rather letting them immediately know it’s not acceptable in this household. In fact, for Feldman -- whose kids are 6 and 9 -- they’re at the age to know which words are acceptable to use and which are not. “They’re the potty mouth police. They will always catch me!”Draw the line
“It’s ok to be strict and stern. If you don’t do it while they’re young it will get worse and worse as they get older,” says Feldman. It can be an introduction and bullying as they get older, not to mention text messaging and online bullying. “As a parent you may think it’s harmless and cute but it’s not.”Her advice? Censor thyself as pointed out in her book. This goes for gossip as well. You may need to catch yourself from talking about a neighbor, a relative or anyone especially since you won’t want to raise a budding little gossip columnist. (Well, unless that actually is your hope.)
You can only control so much
As pointed out by Feldman, when relatives or people drop an expletive here and there you can only hope they’ll realize it’s not a nice thing to say. After all, you can only control what goes on in your household. When they’re on the playground, in a friend’s home or even playing with their cousins, it’s kind of out of your hands. If someone else drops the F-bomb hopefully your smart kids will recognize it’s a "bad word" and perhaps suggest the “culprit” needs a time-out!Dang! You need to find out more?
