The “Jackass” star, as SheKnows previously reported, has had his share of troubles of late. In his now infamous video, Steve-O has traces of cocaine clearly seen on his nose.

After being involuntarily admitted to Los Angeles’ favorite hospital, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for a suicide watch, on his MySpace post, he went on to explain his emotions during and after his very public meltdown.

“Mom was very alcoholic, and I feel that is a gross understatement. I’d love to say that I first took to alcohol out of affection for my mother (there was never any shortage of that for me) but I think the truth is that I was always powerless over it. I know I was always powerless over alcoholism, because it had such a grip on Mom’s adulthood and my childhood, and I never chose to fight it. Until now.”

He goes on to issue fighting words for a kiss-off to his “drugs of choice.”

“I’m not ready to die. I’m ready to live. I’m ready to breathe (properly, even). I’m ready to fall in love. I’m ready to become ready to start a family. I’m ready to be happy, fulfilled and meaningful. Maybe I’ll see you (beep) if and/or when I’m ready to die."